Reflection

So fast... 1 more month of holiday before HORROR.
SHivers...

LTF Leadership Retreat was really good and inspiring... I really had lots of fun there.

Well... This week i doubt that i will have time to do any work. Everything that is in my head concerns LTF camp... Logs and pub. and Caroling. Heart attackk followed by heart attack.

haha...

Anyway... I'm really at a lost what to do...
H3 Contemporary Physics: Dead line tmr
H3 Linear Algebra: Deadline 3 Dec

I got a choice to make. A HARD ONE. Please pray for me.

Lost

I tot i updated here yesterday. It is all GONE...
Forever???

Nevertheless. I'll just try to put something up...

I found this question interesting.
How would you rate the power of your prayer life?
1. Nuclear: Always exploding, always felt. The power is so strong that it disintegrates any prayer hindrances and has a constant bombarding surge of strength and fervency. Even though the explosion is over, its effects will continue to stay for many many decades

2. Dynamite: Sudden explosion, strong one. with a 1 time surge of fervency, that blasts almost any obstacles. Loud boom. AFter that, it just remains silent, remains still.

3. Firecracker: Small explosions, here and there. Happy go lucky type. Seemingly attractive and looks mesmerizing. A lot of sound produced, loud cacophony. But helpless in strength. And the fire still runs out after it ends. Limited and blowned.

4. Fizzle: Perhaps i come to think of little bubbles of CO2 gases evolving from when you put calcium carbonate and HCl. Some sound, barely heard. Little effectl... You still need to test for gas as it is not visible unless its efferversence. Unable to do anything (Maybe give the testtube some pop sound...)

I do not want to go on. It will be too miserable to continue... It can carry on, with no reaction at all or what... But it is too hideous to imagine. Your Salvation.
Prayer is so essential. It is the One and Only way to communicate to God to know His will. But even if we neglect so great gift of salvation, we are sort of rejecting the spiritual bread of life. The one which i consider most needful for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wrath, i believe that all of us wants to escape from it. It sounds as if it is not coming at all. But as i think of it, i'll tremble.

Well. Haha.

Can't believe that Ronald ponned school... 3 days in a row
so bad boy hor??? ahems..
Nevermind. I can't wait for 22 Dec 4E3 outing... I missed YewCheng and all... Haha... (Niang niang qiang voice)
haiz.

My secret Love Letters

I've decided to blog much about some of the people who made a great impact on my life this year. Only the person who i refer to will understand what i mean.

#1: **w*****
Haha, Long time no talk. I look forward to the time where we can once again go out an have buffet and have a good chat with each other. Haven't really caught up much with you... I hope that we dun become strangers and forget or neglect the beautiful years of fun and stress, thick and thin that we went through together. Those are happy memories. But i certainly do not hope for nostalgia, but rather to all the good times to be embedded deeply into my life. great times i must say.
Currently, i'm really interested about how you are doing. Its been long without you, surviving a whole long year without and girly gayish jokes and all, and hearing your niang niang qiang voice. haha.

#2 **E
Hi. Long time no see, long time no talk leh. My enjoyable friend, who always serves as an encouragement to me during my stressful days of O levels. Of course, i'm greatly touched by all your letters of encouragements and always writing my name so sweetly infront. Haha. I missed those times... and though we still talk to each other. These times are rare. And it mostly or rather solely comprises about plain work and stuffs, different from the weird talks or whatever....
Well, i must say that you really did well in making me last through this year even though i rarely see you at all. Perhaps all those comments, msn, sms, curiousity comes handy and really dug out many repugnance. But without those i know i'll be unable to express them out and perhaps just keep these antagonism deep within me till i burst out one day.
Thank you. You are Really a great friend and a true blessing to me.

#3 *0*****
Haha. I dunno what to say. You had been very active in my life. Heh... and always been my watch track to always keep me academically focus. Of course, i won't be such discipline if i had no pressure from you. But of course, its impossible not to have pressure from you. The MYprogramme had exposed me and help me strengthen my confidence in the teaching ministry. I've yet to find out my true abilities, but that was tentamount to an internship which i had desired. You had exposed me to alot of new friends that i made these year, enriching my life physically as well as socially. Life will definitely be much duller without you.
Now, with your quagmire that you are in. I want to offer my advise and help. But i'm afraid that I'll fail, just like i've always been. I dun want you to end up upset with me and the other party and produce no good fruit and neither glorifying to God. I'll just let God's will be done. But of course, remember to continue to pray to Him.

#4 *******A!
Master manz. haha, I've really missed you and your funny actions quite alot. Some weirdo movement that can spice up my state and my day. But nevertheless, I'm glad that you excelled. But continue to pull through. Life will be harder. But i believe that you will be able to handle it. 1 Cor 10:31. Just rely on God for strength and lift the rest up to Him. You must be enjoying life now. And i hope you are. These are the most carefree days of your life. I've passed mine, and i regretted not cherishing those days; they ZOOM> and i promise you, not like a train, but at the speed of light.
Of course, i never really managed to know you well, which is my great regret to really enjoy you as a friend. Mainly our conversation is once sided. But virtually it is on the opposite side.

#5 J**
Heya, glad to know you this year;. You are more interesting than i thought you are. But nevertheless, it was my great privilege to even meet you and hear all your interesting jokes and stories. Of course, i enjoyed the times we had together, even though it was short and stressful, but i believed that it was all wellspent.
All the best for what you do. I must admit that i'm a little scared for you. But be strong... Strive well!!

#6 **e
Glad to really know you better. I've never really known much about you till the camp. Well... Its been great to know you. haha

#7

#8 *g***
Hi there. I gotten to know you much better this year.~ Same school mah... But i hope you can continue to work hard. Rest assure i'll try my best to help you... And i'll try to help myself first too haha. You had been a company for me in my lonely times.

#9 ***s*
Gotten to know you better this yeAR. Maybe that it is the Lord's work that He made us closer to each other in our service to Him. Well, i enjoyed the times working with you and your responsibility as well as your efficiency. Continue to work hard eh??

#10 M****
Nice working with you in PW. I guess you are the only one who knows my blog so... haha, just tag for you lah.
Dun be so mean to me. Yeah... I'm nice and hardworking as a PW member okay???
LEts get our A!!!

Okay. I'll keep it to 10 for the moment. Not too long, not too draggy... But i believe that somehow if you see this you will know that it is refering to you. Some of your may be even able to guess others... But if you do so, please keep this to yourselves and highly, highly confidential. Such things are rather better off to be keep clandestine rather than spreaded.
Remember. I'm the mindreader expert... (Smiles at ronald)

Yes. You know i'm refering to you. You chance upon my blog with serendipity. I didn't want you to come. I didn't know what led you here. But since you are here, come clean about it. I do not want to own a pest.

Always demanded.

I have a propensity of blogging twice, Both in the ******e blog and this blog. Well... But of course the content is different...

I had 2 buffet in 3 days. Too much i guess... So no More going out for me this coming week. I must stay at home and be guai... Do my work, prepare for chalet and camp respectively... haha

Anyway. Glad that O's are over. Deslen still owes me all my super duper books... haha. I'll meet him someday to get it back for my younger bro to savour. I can see the effort that my students put in. It really touched me to see how they were so focused and devoted to studying...

I just hope everything will turn out right.

Finally. Exams are over, PW is over... Just left one more... BM... *Sighs*. A tough life i must admit. Such luxuries I missed...
A few things I wish for...
1. A new KJV bible. Mine's so old, 1Peter is already torn and tattered...
2. A new Swimming trunks
3. A new crumpler bagXD
4. A new jackeT? mine's too small... Actually not very necessary.. haha

Nvm... I shan't be too greedy...
Contented.

God is surely teaching me a lesson

Its time to bring my pride downhill.
Its once again time for me to go back to Him
Its time to read His word, talk to Him, and Most importantly, DO HIS Will.

Applied for H3 Physics and Mathematics... Somehow I felt discourage whenever i apply for these type of weird education applications. The same feelings surged me as it hit me before at the start of the year when i was applying for NRP.

Always, we need to do up our portfolio, to muster all our Datas together, certificates and all, photocopies and seemingly commit uncountable acts of forger with our ICs, attach them together, Seek Kind-hearted teachers to be our referees to write forms which are seal and you will never know what they actually wrote, be it good or bad. Your fate lies in their hands, under a thin piece of envelope, the words that describe your external impression, your external being that everyone wants to know...

As i gathered my certs and all. I was Disappointed, with myself. It seems like my achievements are insignificant and considered negligible compared to the rest of my friends... NEW South Wales, High Distinction all the way... Singapore Math Olympiad... Gold and silvers... I'll never hold a up even a matchstick to them... Not talking about a candle... Which will be easily blown off by their "breath".

Perhaps i had laid myself many treasure in Heaven. Perhaps i devoted to the church, greatly... so much so that i had to sacrifice many academical opportunities, CIP opportunities so that i could be fully devoted to the Lord. Despite all this academical setbacks and disadvantages. I still enjoy rendering spiritual service to God. We should not lay treasures on things on the earth. where moth and rust does exist. Lay our treasures on things in a heaven... It'll be kept forever;

Just leave everything else to His will. Commit it into His hands. Let Him do the rest.

Give me another chance. Please.

I really don't know what to say again.

Disappointment always. Again and again. I dun know why. It just keeps hitting me. Piercing my healing wound...

BADBAD. Yup. These are grading me. critisizing me,exacerbating my anguish and agony.

2 Ugly ducks... Still haven't finished drawing.. I missed last week's lessons. Remember???
It just reminds me how lousy i am. Complacency does not help anymore.

I thank God for everything.